THE ANAGRAM PAGE

The idea of The Cinema Cometh is to think of the title of a film … or a book … or a play … and re-arrange the letters of just one word to create a completely new work. Below are some of the ideas already sent in to The Cinema Cometh. If you have any ideas of your own and would like to see them on this page, just click HERE.

A MOOR WITH A VIEW (1)	Ismail Merchant and James Ivory present their version of Shakespeare’s “Othello”.	Anon.
A MOOR WITH A VIEW (2)	Othello takes up residence in a pensione and lies to everyone.	Johnnie Burning Elk
AGNES OF DOG	Jane Fonda stars as a reporter who uncovers a puppy that is pregnant by Divine Intervention.	David Linabury
ASCEND WITH WOLVES	A football fan follows the rise of his favourite team.	Kevin Hale
CARRY ON RE-AGENTS	The first of the “Carry On” series – detailing hilarious goings-on in a chemistry laboratory.	Kevin Hale
CRAYON DE BERGERAC	A series of “sketches” by a large-nosed swash buckler, played by Gerard Depardieu.	Kevin Hale
DEAD PESTO SOCIETY	A group of well-to-do American schoolboys are influenced by their cookery teacher and resurrect a long-forgotten secret organisation devoted to the adoration of herb relish.	Mike Hatton
DESTRY DRIES AGAIN	Musical cowboy adventure in which the leading man keeps forgetting his lines.	Kevin Hale
DO THE GIRTH THING	Spike Lee’s newest offering about a group of inner-city pizza-makers on the road to obesity.	David Linabury
E.T. – THE EXTRA LAST TERRIER	Elliott discovers a special friendship with one of a dwindling breed of dogs.	Cory Calhoun
EASY DRIER	Peter Fonda rides of win search of the perfect hair care product.	Kyle Porter
ESCAPE TO ANTHEA	All-star cast take refuge in the arms of Miss Turner.	Kevin Hale
FIBRE ENCOUNTER	Celia Johnson and Trevor Howard meet in a railway and discuss knitting.	Mike Hatton
GELATIN’S BEAUTY	A haunting tale of a young girls search for jelly in Italy.	Johnnie Burning Elk
GNU-FIGHT AT THE O.K. CORRAL	Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday break up an illegal display of animal exploitation.	Art Day
GRATE EXPECTATIONS	A modern day version of Charles Dickens’ story of the thrill of the unknown when clearing out the ashes.	Mike Hatton
GULLIVER’S VARLETS	Jonathan Swift’s little-known story about a group of miniature villains and their leader.	John Wilson
HAMLET AND LOUISE	The Prince of Denmark and the woman Ophelia knew nothing about.	Anon.
HARICOTS OF FIRE	The story of a gardener who successfully amalgamates the genes of a bean and a chilli pepper to create a new kind of vegetable.	Brian Reed
HEARTBREAK DIRGE	Clint Eastwood in a weepy story of lost love and laments.	Kevin Hale
HONEY, I SHRUNK THE DISK	An eccentric inventor invents the world’s smallest computer.	Mike Hatton
INANE HALL	An empty concert venue is the setting for this Woody Allen film.	Kevin Hale
INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST USED CAR	Harrison Ford makes one last trip to search for that elusive second-hand motor vehicle.	Daniel Austin
INDIANA JONES AND THE PELMET OF DOOM	Harrison Ford’s epic quest for a valuable home furnishings antiquity haunted by a deadly curse.	Andrew Clarke
INDIANA JONES AND THE SALT CRUSADE	Harrison Ford makes one last trip to search for that elusive culinary condiment.	Anon.
IT HAPPENED ONE THING	An alien life form invades the body of an unemployed reporter and causes him to become entangled with a runaway heiress.	Art Day
IT’S A WONDERFUL FILE	James Stewart plays a suicidal man who learns the true value of office paraphernalia.	Barbara Johnson
LOST IN CAPES	Super heroes diminished by a shrinking ray find their garments to be a hindrance.	Johnnie Burning Elk
MASONS AND DELILAH	Biblical epic with aprons and rolled up trouser legs.	Kevin Hale
MR HOLLAND’S SOUP	Richard Dreyfus plays the cook who teaches his students to create wonderful broth.	Brian Reed
NATIONAL LAMPOON’S MANILA HOUSE	Anarchic comedy about students living in a large brown envelope.	Kevin Hale
PAINT YOUR WOGAN	Re-decorating an Irish broadcaster	Kevin Hale
PEGGY SUE GOT ADMIRER	Prequel to “Peggy Sue Got Married”.	Kyle Porter
PLANET OF THE PEAS	Roddy McDowell stars as the petit-pois who helps Charlton Heston fight against evil in the vegetable plot.	Mike Hatton
POST THE WORLD, I WANT TO GET OFF	In his pursuit of fame and fortune, an ambitious man stops to spamming the Internet.	Art Day
REBEL WITHOUT A SAUCE	James Dean’s portrayal of one young man’s desperate quest for a bottle of ketchup.	Ernst Weber
RED RUM ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS	Three-times Grand National winner is transported on the famous railway.	Kevin Hale
ROMANCING THE ETONS	Prince William and his pals get chased by the girls at the school dance.	Kevin Hale
ROPE MAN	Disjointed story involving an alien tied up in a stolen car trunk.	Johnnie Burning Elk
SAVING PRIVATE YARN	Steven Spielberg’s powerful anti-war movie about a group of WW2 soldiers, led by Tom “Hanks”.	Anon.
SCHINDLER’S SILT	Steven Spielberg’s masterpiece about one man’s struggle to smuggle sand out of the ghettos.	Mike Hatton
STAR TREK – THE WRATH OF HANK	Shadows guitarist gets annoyed in outer space.	Kevin Hale
THE BROTHER FROM ANOTHER PLATEN	An alien stenographer’s attempt to pass as a human in the typing pool.	Johnnie Burning Elk
THE CINERAMA PRESIDENT	The story of Ronald Reagan, of course!	Johnnie Burning Elk
THE COMPANY OF VOWELS	Angela Lansbury sits in Dictionary Corner on Countdown.	Kevin Hale
THE GRATE ESCAPE	Steve McQueen attempts to smuggle a Victorian fireplace past prison guards on the back of a motorbike.	Kevin Hale
THE LICENSE OF THE LAMBS	Jodie Foster stars as Little Bo Peep in this farce about driving tests.	Cory Calhoun
THE LINO KING	Disney’s animated adventure about the boss of a kitchen flooring company.	Kevin Hale
THE NET COMMANDMENTS	Charlton Heston leads his people to the promised World Wide Web and lays down a few rules about “netiquette”.	Barbara Johnson
THE PAGERS OF WRATH	Dramatisation of the John Steinbeck novel about angry young men in the world of communications technology.	Anon.
THE POISONED ADVENTURE	Ernest Borgnine and Gene Hackman save the day when a luxury liner sinks in sea of cyanide.	Anon.
THE POSTMAN ALWAYS GRINS TWICE	Jack Nicholson leers repeatedly at Jessica Lange.	Kevin Hale
THE PRINCE OF DIETS	Barbra Streisand and Nick Nolte cash in on the success of the Jane Fonda Workout	Clifford Banks
THE PRINCE OF EDITS	An author seeks psychiatric counselling after his publisher keeps cutting his stories and compromising his artistic integrity.	Juli Harsey
THE RIGHT NAME BEFORE CHRISTMAS	An elderly Santa Claus has difficult remembering who should get which gift.	Cory Calhoun
THE SADDAM FAMILY	Raul Julia stars as a spooky middle-eastern millionaire who terrorises the neighbourhood with his wacky hijinks.	David Linabury
THE SEMINAR OF THE DAY	Anthony Hopkins takes evening classes at the local school for butlers.	Anon.
THE SEVEN YEAR CHIT	Excessive delay over some paperwork causes Marilyn Monroe some problems.	Kevin Hale
THE SILENCE OF THE BALMS	Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins star in the story of how quiet aromatherapy can be.	Kevin Hale
THE TABLET OF BRITAIN	Wartime epic about a heroic pharmacist.	Kevin Hale
THE TAMPONS	A man wanders across post-apocalypse America pretending to be a purveyor of feminine hygiene products.	Art Day
THE THIRTY-NINE PESTS	Kenneth More as Richard Hannay in John Buchan’s story of espionage and cockroaches.	Ernst Weber
THE VOLE BOAT	Hijinks on the high seas after mutant rodents invade a luxury cruise liner.	Art Day
TOTAL CELLAR	Arnold Schwarzeneggar stars in an action adventure set under a house.	Kevin Hale
TROILUS AND SIDECARS	Shakespearean tale of a Roman motorcycle dealer.	Kevin Hale
TRUE TRIG	John Wayne gets off his horse and finds the area of an isosceles triangle.	John Wilson
TUBERS	Phil Collins stars as one of the Great Potato Robbers.	Kevin Hale

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